There are a lot of sources for inspiration today that can give a couple both the ideas for hot romance and the creative edge for hot sex. Learning about Tantra, the Kama Sutra, and the concepts behind Sacred Sexuality will offer couples a life-time of exotic, creative, deeply connective choices to enhance their relationship. Where as most couples get complacent, the couples that choose to re-create their romantic connection reap the benefits of expanding their sensual, sexual and personal growth connections too.
Western society collapses these concepts to mean the same thing sometimes. We want romance with sex and we want sex with romance but they are different. It's when we get both that we are most happy!
Let's start with "sex". Sexuality can mean sex with your self, sex with a stranger, sex with a friend without "love", sex with love, sex with romance, and any number of other combinations – still, it's sex. Sex is the act of touching genitals to produce pleasure.
Romance can be defined as adventure, a new relationship, excitement, fascination with someone that may or may not be real, exotic, out of the ordinary special treatment, and intense, often short-lived love affairs. The definition of "Romance" in the Webster's dictionary includes four, out of a total of twelve, references to love. The other eight definitions refer to writing and telling stories, imaginative tales, or invented, fictionalized ephemeral adventures. You know, romance novels, with sex added.
The ancient Kama Sutra details exact step-by-step lessons on wooing, courtship, romantic advances, and practical solutions to obtaining both willing and reluctant lovers. Coy and furtive eye glances, specific movements of hands and limbs, how close to stand and how long to glance, kama sutra positions - these instructions portray the science of the romantic, mysterious processes that lead up to sexual activity. It has completely separate chapters on sexual activities, though these sections don't seem nearly as detailed as the romance ones!
Romance is foreplay in some cases. Writing your lover a juicy, erotic poem and sending it to their home or work place is fore-foreplay. Unless you are designing a romantic feast with you as the serving dish in your birthday suit you wouldn't call a romantic dinner sex, though.
Sex can be romantic. If you have been whisked away to an erotic location and the music, wine, lighting, touch, and atmosphere all say "romantic" while you are engaged in sex, you might be able to say that it is the same thing, but again, it seems the meanings are collapsed.
Long-term relationships have a difficult time s, and therefore an active sex life sometimes falls away, too. When we are wooing and romancing a potential partner we go out of our way to pay attention to them. This is often a natural occurrence that doesn't seem to need to be "worked" on.
As we get more comfortable with our partners we begin to take them for granted. It is at this point that a conscious effort must be made to bring romance, adventure, and erotic presence back to the relationship. This is a good thing. This deepening doesn't happen on its own, nor should it. The opportunity to grow, learn, and expand the relationship beyond the sometimes superficial beginnings is the opportunity for each of you to grow.
